PREGNANCY VS BODY DYSMORPHIA
Have you ever looked in the mirror and not understood what you were seeing? Been tagged in an image or walked past a shop window and seen a reflection that doesn't feel familiar? I have. If you had asked me last year, I would have happily told you that I no longer felt this way, that I'd kicked my dysmorphic thoughts to the curve and become comfortable in my skin. Fast forward to me now and "BOOM", I realise just how far from reality I was. What I want to emphasise is that you can still be happy in the body you have, even if the body you have is different in your mind to how others see you. Last year I loved my body, I felt powerful, strong, knew how to dress it, loved my muscles, curves and skin, but my mind was far more in control than I realised. How do I know this?
I am 35 weeks pregnant and yet to buy any maternity clothes, I have put on 22lbs so, in reality, I should be needing a new wardrobe, yet I'm still sliding into my jeans, slipping on my tops and sporting the same underwear. How? I hear you cry. Well, my dysmorphic mind had me buying the wrong clothes all this time. You see I always thought I was a medium or large and I must have been a small or, in some brands, an extra-small because medium seems to be fitting me better now than it ever has!
So while I was happy last year, I still didn't really know my body and now when I'm almost ready to pop I realise just how out of touch I was and unfortunately, I already feel that next year I'm going to wish I'd embraced my bump more. I guess we never truly see ourselves how the world sees us, or loved ones see us and that's ok. Life is a journey and our bodies are the ones that carry us through, I just hope that once little one arrives I can see and dress my body for what it is, not what I think it is.
From one body to another, I hope this post inspires you to know that even with positive or negative thoughts, at some point you'll find a trigger or have a moment of realisation that makes you realise just how powerful your mind is and that maybe, your body, face, imperfections aren't as bad as you think they are.
Photo credit: KatsFilms.
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